Insomnia
by Mrs. Singing Violin
Summary: Variations on a theme of sleeplessness.
1. Theme

Title: Insomnia  
Author: Singing Violin  
Series: Star Trek: Voyager  
Rating: Will eventually get to M.  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, nor the universe, nor the musical form I am emulating.  
Author's note: This fic is somewhat of an experiment. I am modeling it after the musical form of Theme and Variations (second semester music theory). If it works, maybe I will try minuet & trio (semester 3), sonata form (semester 4), or rondo next. In any case, when leaving feedback, please keep in mind that I have picked a very specific form, which has constrained the story in various ways. For example, please don't complain that it's repetitive; that's the point.

**THEME**  
Chapter Rating: K

Kathryn can't sleep. She paces, she drinks excessive amounts of coffee, she buries herself in paperwork.

Chakotay sees his captain fading with every day, growing thinner, paler, her eyes bloodshot, accentuated by the dark circles beneath them. He worries that one day she will simply disappear into oblivion.

Kathryn sees Chakotay eyeing her, and does her best to avoid his critique. She schedules herself opposite him, layers on makeup, hides in the Ready Room during most of her shifts.

He plots to meet her, reshuffling duty shifts so they'll overlap, keeping a watchful eye while attempting not to arouse her suspicion. Somehow, though, he knows she is aware of his concern, and – he hopes – deep down, is thankful for it, reluctantly awaiting his rescue.

He confronts her, on the bridge, so that she may not easily refuse his counsel. He bids her to converse in the Ready Room, and reluctantly she agrees.

She anticipates his questions, attempts to reassure him that she is fine, even as she knows he will not believe her. She sighs with her own measure of disbelief as she asserts that he can fix her problem.

The plan is ingenious. He needs not even inform the conspirators of his ultimate purpose, even though he suspects they too have noticed her fatigue; it would be imprudent to publicly acknowledge it.

Kathryn finds herself in an unexpected, yet oddly familiar situation. Her eyes droop, she relaxes, and finally loses consciousness, waking hours later more alert and refreshed than she has felt in a very long time.


	2. Variation 1: Decaffeination

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, nor the universe, nor the musical form I am emulating.

**VARIATION ONE: DECAFFEINATION**

Chapter Rating: K

Kathryn sipped at her seventh cup of coffee of the morning, silently lamenting the lack of caffeine rush she kept expecting; it wasn't that she was particularly in danger of falling asleep, but she wished she could recapture some of the alertness she'd been sorely lacking of late, and cursed her body's rapidly increasing tolerance for her drug of choice. It didn't help that every time she lay down to rest, her mind raced off into worries about the ship, about her family back home, about her crew, and about her future.

Chakotay watched as the captain greedily sipped at her usual morning beverage and noted the way her uniform hung upon her body, as she no longer possessed the gentle curves the material had in the past hugged tenderly. As she sipped, the usual sigh of contentment, the way she closed her eyes in ecstasy as the liquid ran down her throat, the smile that peeked out from beneath her impassive mask after that first cup – it was all lacking, and he missed it, but more importantly, worried about where it had gone.

As she looked out above the rim of her mug, she caught her first officer eying her, and immediately plotted to duck into the Ready Room at her earliest convenience, knowing that, of all the bridge crew, he was the one that knew her best and might attempt to take action to remedy what he saw as an ailment. She could not allow it; once safely cordoned away, she would shuffle the duty roster to make sure he was nowhere near her during her next few morning shifts.

He knew immediately what she was doing when she ducked into the Ready Room, and began immediately to plot his counter-strategy. He'd recognized immediately the signs of severe sleep-deprivation, days ago even, and even though it was not his place to question her judgment or her health, it was coming to the point where someone needed to intervene, and if he didn't do it, nobody would; he only hoped she would come to appreciate his efforts, even if her initial reaction was anger, or worse.

It was not long before an excuse arose to visit her in the Ready Room, and eagerly, he brought in the reports, hoping she would not dismiss him before he could speak. Luckily, she was too preoccupied to preempt his query as to her well-being.

Once uttered, the query demanded an answer, and she gave the one she always gave, "I'm fine." She needed not raise her eyes to see the look of disbelief in his, and only met his glance in surprise after he promised to fix her problem – surprise, because she hadn't even told him what the problem was.

The next few days, she found herself more and more lackluster during her shifts, and contemplated asking the doctor for a stimulant, though she knew the EMH would refuse, and probably relieve her of duty. Thus she bore the fatigue, even as her eyelids began to droop, and finally, she found herself embarrassingly nodding off in the captain's chair.

The next thing she knew, she was waking in her bed, feeling surprisingly refreshed, and a glance at the chronometer revealed she'd slept for nearly fourteen hours. Immediately, she commed Chakotay, and proudly, he revealed that he'd tampered with the replicators, decreasing and eventually removing all caffeine from her orders, and that he'd transported her to her quarters after she fell asleep on the bridge.

He thought she'd be angry, but her only response was a quiet, "Thank you, Chakotay."


	3. Variation 2: Cold

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, nor the universe, nor the musical form I am emulating.

**VARIATION TWO: COLD**

Chapter Rating: K+

Kathryn shivered beneath the blankets, mischievous thoughts of disobeying her own edict dancing in her mind. _No_, she scolded herself, _you're the captain, and you've got to set an example, even if it means a few sleepless nights._

As he observed the captain's unusually closed posture on the bridge, Chakotay noted the bags underneath her eyes, darkening her otherwise-particularly-pale skin and drawing attention away from the arms beneath that subtly hugged her torso. If only he could afford to use replicator rations right now, he'd order some long underwear for her; it really didn't do for the captain to be covered in goose bumps, though it did help morale that everyone suffered together.

Later that night, he came to her quarters and noted that, despite the late hour, she had not changed out of her uniform. If anything, her quarters were even chillier than his, but he understood her need not to waste energy raising the temperature beyond the minimal amount needed not to freeze to death.

"How is crew morale?" she asked, assuming he'd visited in order to seek her counsel. However, she noted a glint in his eye and briefly allowed herself to hope he had planned some sort of warming surprise for her.

"As well as can be expected," he answered, "but I believe there is one crew member whose morale would be improved if she could sleep, and I believe I have an old-fashioned remedy that could help her." He held his breath, hoping that she would understand his meaning and not be offended by the offer.

She brightened for a moment, then darkened as she answered, "we can't afford the energy, Chakotay, even for 'home remedies.'" However, at the back of her mind was one remedy that would save, rather than use energy, but she didn't dare to hope he was offering that.

His cheeks dimpled as he returned her smile and admitted, "I've been having trouble sleeping too; I was hoping we could help each other." Again, he dared not breathe as he awaited her reply.

Logic and emotion came together in her mind as she surprised herself by nodding compliantly. Less than an hour later, they lay curled together in her bed, sharing heat, and knowing that getting up would be difficult, but not impossible given a good night's rest and the promise of another night of blissful warmth.


	4. Variation 3: Velocity

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, nor the universe, nor the musical form I am emulating.

**VARIATION THREE: VELOCITY**

Chapter Rating: K+

As she stared at the ceiling of her quarters, Captain Janeway wondered idly how she used to rest so easily, even as piles of paperwork and other matters kept her away from bed. Often now, she lay awake the whole night, and when she did fall asleep, it was so soon before her alarm that she'd be more tired when she woke up than when she went to bed.

Increasingly, Chakotay began to notice the captain's visible exhaustion and, if he were to be completely honest with himself, her slightly increasing waistline. It was when he took note of the latter that he began to understand the former.

"What is it, Chakotay?" asked the captain tiredly as she sat next to him on the bridge. She worried his answer would contribute to her sleeplessness, but at least it would give her something to think about other than the idle fantasy of sticking glow-in-the-dark stars above her bed.

Gulping, the commander decided to be honest, but offered to meet with her in the Ready Room for some measure of privacy. As they walked towards the door, he second-guessed his first instinct to tell her exactly what he'd observed, and opted to be a bit craftier.

"How about a game of Velocity?" he asked her, and was relieved to see her expression of confusion: at least she hadn't noticed his eying of her belly. He hoped she'd agree without question, but wasn't quite gratified on that point.

"Now?" she asked incredulously. She couldn't imagine why her first officer had taken her off the bridge to challenge her to a game.

"At the end of our shift," he answered, "and I promise we'll talk then." He hoped she'd buy the excuse.

Six hours later, Kathryn was so exhausted she'd forgotten that they were supposed to talk business. Too tired even to jump into the sonic shower to wash the sweat off of her body, she collapsed fully-clothed into bed and was unconscious almost before she hit the sheets.

Six weeks later, after a daily regimen of post-shift Velocity games, she noticed three things: first, she was far more alert during the day, second, her uniforms fit better around the waist, and third, she was growing awfully fond of her first officer, especially now that she was able to beat him about half the time. For the moment, her competitive nature overruled her gratitude, but she vowed silently that in a month or so, when she was sure she'd win consistently, she would thank him properly.


	5. Variation 4: Masseur

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, nor the universe, nor the musical form I am emulating.

**VARIATION FOUR: MASSEUR**

Chapter Rating: K+

Kathryn groaned as she futilely attempted to find a comfortable sleeping position. After some time, she finally resigned herself to another sleepless night of paperwork as she assessed that sitting up would be less painful than lying down.

Chakotay noted the unusually high frequency with which the captain squirmed, kneading her own muscles as she reached around herself at odd angles when she thought nobody was looking. He worried the relaxation she needed was not something she was able to provide herself, no matter how valiantly she tried; her failed efforts were apparent in her pale, drawn face and the exhausted manner in which she interacted with her crew.

Her hand over her shoulder, Captain Janeway caught her first officer eyeing her and quickly dropped her arm, wondering how much of her discomfort had been visible before she'd noticed his scrutiny. Suppressing a groan, she made her way to the captain's chair and sat down, hoping he'd leave her be; unfortunately, he sat down beside her.

"Captain," the commander started, "we need to talk, in private. Ready Room now, or your quarters later."

Dreading the interaction, the captain's usual procrastination on such matters kicked in as she selected the latter option. It didn't occur to her that she would be affording him the unique opportunity to corner her without ready means of escape.

Once alone with her in her room, he bade her sit, and reluctantly, she agreed. Carefully, he sat beside her, turned to face her, and as once before, a long time ago, reached behind and began his skillful ministrations.

Caught only partially by surprise, Kathryn leaned back towards him and let herself enjoy the sensation of his fingers digging into her shoulders; she'd thought many times about the previous occasion on which he'd tried this, and often regretted having stopped him. Leaning further and further back, it wasn't long before she was resting on his chest, her eyelids drooping sleepily, and he was trying to tell her something which she lazily attempted to ask him to repeat.

He chuckled to himself as he observed her mumbling in her half-asleep state; he'd attempted to warn her that he couldn't be as effective with her practically on his lap, but at her incoherent reply, opted instead to continue as best he could until he was sure she wouldn't resist. Then he gently reached under her legs, stood up with her limp form in his arms, and tucked her into bed.


End file.
